(2025) December Rambling — Life.
4 days & 19 hrs ago
17th Dec 2025 09:41 I don't entirely know why I'm writing here. I'll be completely honest. I think it's pretty reasonable to assume that most people'll pass this by, well, unless they're REALLY interested. Which is fair, this is still a (albeit less popular) place to put thoughts. Mostly, I just wanna ramble. No real pressure of being perfectly understandable or anything, like I tend to be in forum posts.
Regardless, if you are reading this (and/or any of my subsequent rambles), hello! Don't expect this to be anything more than just me thinking aloud with no real coherence.
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It's December already, and already approaching Christmas. Do I feel ready? No. In fact, I don't entirely know if I've been all there since January. It's fascinating how mental health can really change how everything feels. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows, if you will... I lost a lot, gained some, but that's just life, isn't it?
There's a sort of frustration that's been lingering, I s'pose. Mostly, I feel that it's formed from feelings of inadequacy, but I also feel that people often ignore me and push me aside with little regard for how I feel. It started months ago, I can't remember exactly, I've kind of lost the ability to hold onto detailed memories. I cried by myself a little bit and made some indication of being upset, but I feel like it wasn't heard... Not like I wanted to make a fuss, I hate doing that. So I guess I'll just vaguely state here I'm unhappy with what happened and move on.
I have to wonder why things like that get under my skin more. As a kid, I never really thought about it, let alone considered it. But nowadays, I feel like people do it intentionally, regardless of whether or not that's true. Maybe it's my self-consciousness getting to me? Or maybe it's some underlying frustration that I wasn't more honest with my feelings or something. Who knows? The brain's odd. Anything's possible.
Back to December n' stuff of that caliber, I guess. I can't wait for 2026; there's so much happening that year I'm excited for. I just hope it's better than 2025. This year was nothing but bad feelings and anxiety. Funny really, I'm always the first person to tell others not worry about it and let things pass. But I'm the one with an anxiety disorder, making me fret over so much. A bit of egg on my face, there. I'll admit that.
I can't really think of much else to say... I guess that means it's the end of my rambling. Maybe I should ramble to noone in particular in my blogs more often. It's nice to talk to the air about whatever. Helps me process things without the social pressure or people telling me how I should feel about it or that it's "not that big of a deal."
Sometimes it's important to get advice or be pulled back, I understand that. But, you know? I think, sometimes, admittedly a bit selfishly, it's important to give people a moment to just express that lingering feeling for a few minutes. Even things that seem like too much energy to dwell on for you can be a pin in someone else's side until they pull it out for them. And that should be understood more often, I think.
We put so much emphasis on enjoying the little things that sometimes I think we forget that little things can be bad, too. And there shouldn't be shame in that. Good comes with bad. That's what balance is. If you only let yourself take and give the good, eventually the bad will be the only thing left, and it'll poke enough holes to deflate your emotional balloon. It's important to understand what tiny things can mean so much. Regardless of which side of the coin it's on.
Coming to know more about yourself through the big and little things. I think that's what life's truly about, yeah?
Frankie ♡ Any pronouns (HE/HIM preferred) ♡ Bisexual ♡ 20-years-old
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