Pick the month you were born: January-------I killed February------I loved March--------I kissed April----------I licked May----------I jumped on June----------I smelled July-----------I did the Macarena With August--------I had lunch with September----I danced with October-------I sang to November-----I yelled at December-----I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on: 1-------a birdbath 2-------a monster 3-------a phone 4-------a fork 5-------a snowman 6-------a gangster 7-------my mobile phone 8-------my dog 9-------my best friends' boyfriend 10-------my neighbor 11-------my science teacher 12-------a banana 13-------a fireman 14-------a stuffed animal 15-------a goat 16-------a pickle 17-------your mom 18-------a spoon 19------- a smurf 20-------a baseball bat 21-------a ninja 22-------a dustbin 23-------a noodle 24-------a squirrel 25-------a football player 26-------my sister 27-------my brother 28-------an ipod 29-------a surfer 30-------a llama 31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing: White---------because I'm cool like that Black---------because that's how I roll. Pink-----------because I'm crazy. Red-----------because the voices told me to. Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want Green---------because I think I need some serious help. Purple---------because I'm AWESOME! Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader. Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway. Brown---------because I can.. Rainbow-------because im a hippy Other----------because I'm a Ninja! None----------because I can't control myself!
On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how??)
On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". (And you thought??...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And I am taking this...because?)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On packet of Nobbys' Peanuts:- "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash!
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or privates." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!
On a hearth rug: "Keep away from fire" (So the point of buying it is??)
On a RAZOR scooter: This product moves when used.(Your kidding! I wanted a statue)
On a Korean Kitchen Knife: Warning: Keep out of children (But I want to stab them)
On a Stick Deodorant: Instructions: Pull off top and push up bottom (I wouldn't have thought of that.)
On a baby stroller Take out the child before folding the stroller (Because a child would fit when it is folded)
On a bottle of mildew cleaner used in cleaning tub and tile mildew: Use in a well ventilated area (If the area was well ventilated you wouldn't have the mildew in the first place)
