1. I don't like the term 'INSANE'. I prefer 'MENTALLY HILARIOUS'
2. I can't sleep! THE CLOWNS WILL EAT ME!
3. Smile if you're not wearing undies.
4.Every great idea I have gets me in trouble.
5. There's really no problem that can't be solved with a baseball bat.
6. I did NOT just hit you. I simply high-fived your face.
7. I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so s-m-e-r-t... er... i mean s-m-a-r-t
8. It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.
9. You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because I just farted.
10. When life hands you lemons, find an annoying person with a paper cut...