Yes, leukemia.
Today, April 22, 2009.
The doctors are 90% sure.
And even if they are right, I have the worst case.
If they are right, I have a 30% chance of living.
I have 6/7 symptoms, which makes it severe.

Thursday, April 23, 2009.
So far what has happened to me;;
A needle injected into my hip to suck out my bone marrow.
A HUU-UUGEEE needle get shoved up my chest for 10 hours.
Have EMLA (em-luhh) spread over me.

Dont feel pity for me, please, no.
I would truly DESPISE that.
Dont make a patient mad, you know better then that.
Pray for me, sure. Hope I will get better, I will welcome it with open arms.
Pity me=mad ari.

Happyness is the antidote to everything.
Every laugh I take can keep me alive another minute longer.


http://i44.tinypic.com/15vrz5.gif
<- Nori. Thanks.

Saturday, April 25, 2009.
Thanks Milli. For the siggy and entering the comp.

anddd...
this totally new nurse ATTEMPTED to give me a blood shot.
Key word /attempted./
She put it in, and when she was extracting it, she pulled it all the way across my arm along my vain.

She kept saying sorry sorry sorry and covering her mouth. Yeah, I could have DIED lady. [I think? ]

So instead of 1 dot where the needle went, there was a long line.


Posted in club chat;;
Aw, you guys.
Can i tell you something.
If i leave this world, no matter when , I want to tell you thank you.
You guys care so much about me, and you guys are all so amazing. You do everything you can to help me. You pray for me, you make me feel good, you make me laugh. You guys...You cant do anything more then that. But thats so much. I know, this world is so unfair. But god doesnt put you through anything you cant handle. If I cant handle this, then maybe I wasnt supposed to. Maybe I was supposed to die at my age...Sure, I will never get married. Ill never have a child, and look into their eyes with such a profound love that can be found nowhere else, but at least Ill die knowing that people loved me. That they cared for me. That they didnt know how I looked, or what I wore (even though I wear totally hawt stuff. xD LOL) they still wanted the best for me. You guys are the must un-selfish un-obnoxious most deserving people I've ever met.
Please. Dont waste your time worrying over a person like me. Im nothing in this world. Whats one less person. Sure, you'll miss me for a bit, but then you can just pretend I was banned, right? You didnt even know me, so you couldnt possibly go through your whole lives remembering me. If you are sad for two days, even if it was just a distant thought, that would be a miracle.
And you know what guys?
Thats what they doctors said.
I need a miracle to stay alive.

April, Monday 27, 2009.

I need hematic Surgery.
Liver surgery, to make it simple.

How? Well here's how.
A couple of days ago (Saturday, to be exact) I was on mara. I was writhing (literally) in pain, and even telling some people. I said that it felt like my rib poked into my rib. Well..it did.
See the "stupid nurse" from up there?
She passed by, going to some other kids room (a 9 year old boy with heart cancer, going for a heart transplant) and saw me, laptop closed, (I logged off cause I couldnt bear the pain) infront of my feet, crawled up knees tucked to my chest crying, writhing in pain and every so while screaming. So...She got my doctor. Guess what? My rib was poking (not very much, even though it was EVER so painful) into my liver. Heh. So that was causing internal bleeding. What are the chances?
So yeah.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009.

i had surgery at 5AM, lasted 4 hours.