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Never go to bed angry... stay up and plot your revenge.
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When life gives you lemons, throw them back and say you want oranges. (
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If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why try?
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I believe in free will - I have no choice.
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If I throw a stick will you go away?
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If a tree falls in a forest on a mime and no one is around, does he scream?
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I'm just a chocolate bar... sweet but half nuts!
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Do not follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
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Being stupid isn't a bad thing, you're just overdoing it.
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If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of... OMG!
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People who live in glass houses should dress in the basement.
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You have the Midas touch - everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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What was the greatest thing BEFORE sliced bread?
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
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What's another word for thesaurus?
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A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
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What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
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They told me I was gullible. And I believed them.
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A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, First let me see the sandwich.
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Experience is the one thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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I had amnesia once. Or twice.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
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Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
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What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
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How can there be self-help groups?
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Is there another word for synonym?
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Where do forest rangers go to get away fr

[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[]You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
total=4

[x] You have ran into a tree.
[] It IS possible to lick your elbow
[] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[x]You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[X] You just tried to sing them.
[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.
[]You have seen the the Matrix and still don't get it.
[x] You didn't notice that in the last question "the" was spelled twice
[x] You just looked at it.
[]Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde.
[X]People have called you slow.
total so far=12

[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.
[X] You've fallen asleep in class
[X] If someone says "fart" you laugh.
[X] You just laughed.
total so far=18

[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[x] You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
[] People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
[x]You are often told to use your "inside voice".
[x]You use your fingers to do simple math.
total so far=22

[x]You have eaten a bug.
[X]You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it
[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket
total so far=26

[] You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't even when you know it won't happen to you.
[x] You break a lot of things.
[] Your friends know not to use big words around you
[x] You sometimes tilt your head when you're confused
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before
[x] When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling
total so far=30